The Ned Wood Archive

Joe

Thankfully, the rain has stopped. Joe and George trek along the main drag past West Holts to Carhenge. George is walking, but Joe is floating. Joe is focussed on the two or so minutes he spent swirling round the Croissant Neuf bandstand. Those two minutes alone were enough to make Joe’s day. Especially when she turned round and smiled at him.

George starts by telling Joe that this is nothing special. He’s always falling in love at Glastonbury. Has been for as long as George has known him. Maybe even longer.

It’s true. Among the many people Joe has fallen in love with are:

• Karen O.
• Sharon Van Etten. Twice: once in 2015 and then again in 2019.
• The drummer from Lady Parts.
• One of Candi Staton’s backing singers.
• Marianne from Normal People. He was sure he saw her up at the Park last year. 2025. Up above. Up near the sign.
• Lauren Laverne. Joe’s always been in love with Lauren Laverne. Even when he was in love with Sharon Van Etten, he was in love with Lauren Laverne.

Then George is telling Joe that he’s missed his chance. George can’t quite understand Joe’s reaction. To George, that was an opportunity missed. Joe is more fatalistic. What happens happens. It was fate that they’d seen each other the day before. It was fate that brought them together for those couple of minutes dancing the conga to the ska band. Joe tells George that Glastonbury has a way of making sure that you get what you deserve. Fate will bring them together again, he says. Just watch. Until then, Joe’s reliving those minutes. And his fingers are still tingling.

To be honest, George is also buzzing. Once he gets in the mood for some dancing, he won’t stop. And George has got natural rhythm. He’s just a smooth mover. He even looks elegant walking along the track. He could teach John Travolta a thing or two. That walk at the start of Saturday Night Fever. Tony Moreno’s got nothing on Gorgeous George.

Each stall they pass is playing a different beat. There’s a bit of old Motown. A bit of Mexican Mariachi. Rod Stewart singing Maggie May. Dee D. Jackson, Automatic Lover. Some wise guy sees George approaching and puts on Stayin Alive. No matter what’s playing, George has got the steps.

Carhenge is crowded with punters, out again now the rain’s gone, milling around, admiring the cars. Neither Joe nor George are that bothered about checking out the motors, so they sail past and swing right towards the top of Theatre Field. As they get near the entrance to the Acoustic Tent and the Pilton Palais, Joe reminds George about what happened the year before when Joe dragged him over to the Pilton Palais cinema on the Thursday night.

George must have been at a loose end because he was belly aching about doing something with Joe and Joe flat out told him that he (Joe) was going to watch the Oscar Wilde film and that George could always come with him, after all, he might learn something about culture. (Although, even as he said that, Joe realised that George was probably more “cultured” than he was.) The film was a showing of the National Theatre production of The Importance of Being Earnest – one of those plays that you’ve heard before without knowing it because of all of the wonderful Oscar Wilde quotes that come out of it. One of the main roles was Ncuti Gatwa – the guy who was Doctor Who for a bit – and he was there at the screening, doing a Q&A during the interval. So the interval comes round halfway through the film and Gatwa is answering these serious questions from middle aged white folk about how queer the play is and how he (Gatwa) felt doing it. Then George stood up to ask a question and what he asked was whether Gatwa believed in love at first sight because he (George) did and then straight up he asked Gatwa whether he would like to go out on a date. And by the look on Gatwa’s face, the answers were yes and yes. “And I was so utterly heartbroken when he stood me up because he had other commitments,” says George.

“You’d have made the perfect couple,” says Joe.

“Yes, that’s true,” says George. “The Perfect Couple.”

They’re showing that Bruce Springsteen film today, so it probably won’t happen again.

The place they are going is that stage right at the top of the Theatre Field, the one next to Atchin Tan where The New York Brass Band are playing. Gateway Riser or whatever. Where there’s an old painted wooden caravan on a tower. Joe and George get there in plenty of time because they come on a bit later than advertised, probably because of the rain. That just means that when they do, they’ve got a pretty large crowd, ready and waiting.

When him and Tom were talking about their plans for the Wednesday and Thursday, Joe was a bit worried about going to see the New York Brass Band. He started to think that all these traditions of theirs like Beans on Toast and New York Brass Band were just a bit predictable. He wondered: shouldn’t they do something else for a change? But now he realises that this is exactly what they should be doing. Partly because the New York Brass Band are just so good. But mainly because, well, look what happened earlier on account of him and George heading off to see the them!

And, as anyone who has ever been to Glastonbury will know and as anyone who has ever seen them live will also know, the New York Brass Band are just the sort of band you want playing on the Thursday. Just the sort of band you want to get you into the mood. Or if, like Joe and George, you are already well and truly in the mood, just the sort of band you want to take you higher. They play all manner of tunes, some you know well, some you don’t. They get you jumping and dancing and moving and spinning. And they spread happiness all around as they do. Just the sort of band you want to dry you out if you got caught in the rain.

Joe and George soon bump into Tom and the rest of the gang who have also turned up. Still no sign of Megs. Tom has had a text, so they know she won’t be there for a while yet. George is after yet more dancing, so he’s off with Jack and James to see what else they can find. Tom is after seeing Hannah the Plumber who’s talking at Speakers Forum later. Tom’s a member so he’s seen her before. Actually met her canvassing up in Manchester that one time in February. Says she’s good. Well worth listening to. On impulse, Joe decides to go with his brother. They both stroll back towards the Green Fields.