The Ned Wood Archive

Ellie

Ellie can be a little uncertain at times.  She doesn’t always know whether she’s doing the right thing.  She thinks one thing, but isn’t sure, so she persuades herself to think the other thing.  Then goes backwards and forwards.  Except, that is, when she really puts her mind to it.  When she does set her mind on something, when she’s sure, then she goes for it.

She’s put her mind to it this morning.  Overnight.  Laying in her bag since yesterday.  She’s decided on two things.  1.  She wants to spend time with Joe.  2.  She wants to spend time with Phoebe, Abi, and Lauren.  So, that makes it simple.  She knows what she wants.  All she has to do is go out and get it. 

When you have a really good game, when everything goes right, like when all the passes go to feet, and maybe you score a goal or two, and you come off thinking, yes, I played well today, then afterwards you sit and replay the match in your head. You get this warm glow. This immense feeling of satisfaction. Or like when she goes to see Nonna and has breakfast on the terrace, the sun carressing her cheeks and eyelids, warm and not yet roasting. That’s how she felt with Joe the day before. Sunshine on her skin. Satisfaction in her soul.

She’ll go and meet Joe at the showers, like they agreed.  And she’ll suggest he spends some time with the rest of them. Joe and Ellie with Abi and Lauren and Phoebe.  Doesn’t have to be all day.  Just most of it.  It’ll be his choice.  She knows that his must see is on the Sunday, like hers and he didn’t say anything about needing to see anyone special today, so there’s no reason for him to say no.  It’s not a test.  He can do what he wants.  But if things don’t go her way, she’ll know she was wrong after all.  

Like she said: it’s simple. She knows what she wants.

Phoebe had been a bit short with her when she got in.  She could tell.  The way she carried on and on about Lady Gaga.  What all she played.  What she wore.  How many times she changed gear.  How amazing the dancers were.  How poignant the songs were when it was just her and the piano.  How vibrant the hits were.  How she finished with Born This Way. “For the Dolls,” she said.

Ellie was happy for Phoebe.  Told her that she’d had a good time too and they’d all party on the Saturday.  She couldn’t get Phoebe up to go down the showers with her, though.  Phoebe said something she couldn’t quite hear and rolled over.  She’d be fine in an hour or so when Ellie got back with Joe.

So Ellie trots down to the Greenpeace showers.  She has, however, made sure she’s got her mini power bank with her, just in case.  She’s got her waterproof too, even though it’s supposed to be really hot today.  Her phone tells her she’s fifteen minutes earlier than they’d planned.  That is assuming that he knew exactly what time it was when they bumped into each other after the shower yesterday.  Anyway, she gets herself a ticket and waits.  

She surfs a bit while she waits.  She reads a bit about Lady Gaga and about Idles and about Fontaines.  She goes back over the group chat from yesterday.  The other three were pinging messages around about her after her phone went dead.  All sorts of talk.  She’ll tell them what really happened later.  

She’s still waiting for Joe when her number comes up.  She takes her shower which is good because it’s already too hot, but she doesn’t stay in there long enough.  There’s no sign of him when she comes out.  She checks multiple times for any message from him, but there’s nothing.  He can’t have made a mistake with her phone number because he’s literally got it written down in her writing.  She does a couple of loops of the stalls along the track next to the Greenpeace field and strolls through Green Futures as well.  

Ellie starts asking herself how long should she wait.  If she went back to the tent now, he could turn up in the next ten minutes and think she’d bailed out on him.  She should allow for the fact that he may not know exactly what time they were supposed to meet.  But how long?  Fifteen minutes?  Thirty?  Plus she should give him some leeway over that time,  How long?  Thirty?  Is it right for her to wait for an hour total?  Is that being stupid?  It’s been nearly that long anyway.  Plus, if he was late, he’d get in touch.  So if he doesn’t turn up and he doesn’t get in touch, that’s pretty clear isn’t it.  And she wishes she’d spent longer in the shower, because it’s getting hot and she feels like she could do with another one just now.