The Ned Wood Archive

Ellie

Ellie’s feeling hollow.  Like something inside of her got taken away.  Like when Spurs lose, only worse.  It was her own fault.  I dunno.  But, she’s got no-one else to blame.  No one else to get angry with.  Yeah, sometimes when Spurs lose there’s someone or something to get angry about, but that never helps.  You don’t get angry at your own team.  She used to get angry with herself when she played, though.  Like focussing on her mistakes, especially if they lost.  Abi says you should own your own mistakes, cos that’s how you get better, but it’s OK for Abi to say that.  She never makes mistakes.

Was it a mistake for Ellie to fall for Joe?  I mean, it’s not the same as Paul.  She wouldn’t make that mistake again.  It was a really fun day she had with Joe.  She enjoyed it.  She wants to be able to look back at it as something positive.  Something pleasurable.  Will she be able to do that?  It still hurts though.  But she can’t mope all day.  She’s determined to enjoy the remaining day and a half.  She’ll throw herself into the music.  That’ll help.  Music can do that.

Of course the girls try their best to get her back on track.  All three of them.  They’ve decided to stick together for the rest of the day.  They agree to go to Jehnny Beth which is Ellie and Phoebe’s choice then do Ellie Golding and Pink and Lily Allen which are Lauren and Abi’s choices.  Mind, they’re all up for Lily Allen.  And Pink.

First thing is they go past Left Field and Phoebe hears this punky band playing so she drags them all in.  It’s all loud blasting guitars and shouty lyrics, but it’s just what Ellie needs right now.  They’re called Problem Patterns and they’re like a gang.  Like they’re just having fun, playing at being a band.  They jump around the stage, swapping instruments, taking it in turn to sing lead.  Phoebe says that’s the four of them up there. Ellie, Abi, Lauren, and Phoebe, that is. They could be in a band like Problem Patterns.  Lauren’s like the drummer, she means the one who’s mainly the drummer.  Abi’s the singer, maybe a bit taller though, and then Ellie and Phoebe are the two guitarists.  Of course none of them can play, except maybe Abi, who’s good at everything.  Yep, turns out Abi did clarinet in the school orchestra and is grade like two thousand and something at piano.

Problem Patterns do this song, well more of a monologue, about a pity bra.  Lauren shouts something at Ellie and when Ellie turns round, Lauren throws a bra in her face.  Thing is, she doesn’t think it’s Lauren’s bra.  The bra gets thrown around the tent for a few minutes then ends up on stage.  The singer throws it back.  Then they do this song “You can’t fire me, I’m leaving” and they all join in shouting the chorus.  It’s not how Ellie’s feeling, though.  Not angry, Fuck You.  More disappointed, Oh Well.  More wishing it had been different.  And the band does this TERFs Out song and the singer explains the acronym and Lauren says they aren’t feminists, they’re dipsticks, so Lauren and Abi and Ellie and Phoebe sing TERDs Out each time the chorus comes round. Then the band are all in the audience, all four of them, jumping up and down, waving their arms around, pogoing. And Ellie’s up there on stage along with Abi and Lauren and Phoebe. They are the band now.

And Ellie’s feeling better.  She hasn’t resolved anything, though, she’s just covered up the hurt.  But that’s OK.  She knows that it’ll hit her, maybe in a day or so, maybe next week.  Almost certainly when she’s been in Italy for a few days and she’s feeling homesick.  Then she’ll have to deal with all of the Joe shit.  But not yet.  She owes it to herself and the girls to enjoy Glastonbury. 

And it’s Jehnny Beth over at Woodsies next.  Should be good.