The Ned Wood Archive

I watch the ripples change their size

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

He was transformed into an admirable red admiral with wide black wings, white spots and red stripes, ready to enjoy the last of the summer days.

And he was transformed into a threatening black stag beetle, its fearsome pair of antlers armed and ready for any rival that may cross its path.

He was transformed into a grassy-green grasshopper skipping and hopping across the meadows, singing out by rubbing its hands together like a schoolboy about to devour a cake.

Then he was transformed into a humble woolly bumblebee wearing its hi vis jacket to potter around the potting shed and the cottage garden.

He was transformed into a little green aphid, minding its own business sitting and gumming up the stalks and stems of all of your plants.

He was transformed into a regal dragonfly, with bright metallic finish, stationary in the air watching the pond, then suddenly warping off a yard to the left or a yard to the right to make sure that you were still awake.

And he was transformed into a common house fly, annoying all and sundry with its constant whine and constant hunger, unable to behave when requested, unable to resist temptation, unable to win friends or influence people.

He was transformed into a water boatman, flat on his back in the sun, lazily sculling downstream, idly searching for a grassy bank on which to picnic.

And he was transformed into a glorious smartie-red ladybird, complete with spots, spreading luck and love wherever it goes.

He was transformed into a frantic ant, fretting backwards and forwards, dodging his many many mates, trying to look busy just in case the boss is nearby.

He was transformed into a long gangly-legged jenny long legs, tiptoeing over the wall trying not to trip over any of its five hundred or so appendages.

And he was transformed into a groovy hip rainbow beetle dedicatedly setting fashion, wearing colourful Sergeant Pepper threads, leading Portobello Man and the Carnabetian Army with its groovy attire, giving hope and vindication to the misfits and outsiders, the Kats and the Nessies, and all of those not content to jump someone else’s train.